"We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.
I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. graph"
Excerpt of the OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD from the "Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster".
I have finally found the answer to the quest of my life.
When in the sequence of creation or evolution was the midget created??
When by whom??
It amazes me how people get stuck in details ignoring the larger picture. Why would you care if it was evolution or creation?
The Spaghetti Monster said
Let there be a mountain … and there was a mountain.
He said Let there be a tree … and there was a tree.
And then He said Let there be a midget … and there was a midgit.
Now I am enlightened. And by the grace of the Spaghetti Monster you too shall be enlightened.
– Ramen
Like any self respecting pastafarian I cannot ask you to believe – the truth my friend is revealed to the seeker through logic. I implore you to please consider these arguments and evidences put forth by esteemed academics.
